I have been trying to keep this blog going, by adding my thoughts as often as I can. I must say, that I'm almost addicted to coming here and writing something each day. Throughout the day, I get good ideas and come up with interesting things to write about as I go about my daily activities and observe things and people. Most of them are forgotten by the time I actually get the time to type. What a shame! It is just like how I get the most creative ideas flowing out of my brain when I'm in bed about to fall asleep. That is when I compile the best essays, the best speeches and the best stories. That is also when I wish I had a pen or my netbook to capture some of those golden thoughts. Unfortunately, as I debate internally whether to get up or not, I've fallen asleep to wake up the next day blank.
This writing business has helped me to express parts of my character that I would usually not make known openly. And in writing, I am getting to know more about my own self as as read back what I blog. I have also come to learn that writing and expressing my thoughts is one of the best coping skills there is for me, when my mind is troubled or simply overwhelmed.
As a child I had great imagination and creative writing was a breeze in primary school. Teachers liked my creativity and encouraged it. However, as I got older, my imagination didn't mature proportionately. I struggled with organising structures of essays and expressing thoughts. I didn't read books as often as my peers and soon I was lagging in class in the subject of English. I was never able to score over 60% with my O/L teacher. And true enough, I ended up with a "C" for my O/L English and I was pretty torn apart about it, eventhough it was the only bad grade I had and everything else were A's and B's. So it's taken all this while to get over that failing thought and believe in myself enough to write.
Thanks, to a couple of people who have encouraged me to write more often! :)
Family duties, got to go now...
Friday, September 3, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sweet Chariot
"Chariot, when you and I are One, we got places to go to!"
Today I drove from work to home for the first time after getting my driver's license. It was a nerve-wracking experience. I felt the blood start to circulate only after I reached home. But it's all cool, and its progress. Soon I will be at home on the roads, driving just like most road maniacs.
Having a vehicle is like having a child. Constant worries occur when strange noises are heard, or parts fall off or mechanisms fail. Those result in visits to the "doctor", which are in no way cheap. You have to keep it clean regularly with washes and one learns that no one loves your vehicle as much as you do and they don't think twice about littering inside your vehicle. People talk to you about how well their "children" do petrol, just like how mums boast about their kids.
After 5 years, Self-esteem has decided to make a slow but steady come-back.
Today I drove from work to home for the first time after getting my driver's license. It was a nerve-wracking experience. I felt the blood start to circulate only after I reached home. But it's all cool, and its progress. Soon I will be at home on the roads, driving just like most road maniacs.
Having a vehicle is like having a child. Constant worries occur when strange noises are heard, or parts fall off or mechanisms fail. Those result in visits to the "doctor", which are in no way cheap. You have to keep it clean regularly with washes and one learns that no one loves your vehicle as much as you do and they don't think twice about littering inside your vehicle. People talk to you about how well their "children" do petrol, just like how mums boast about their kids.
After 5 years, Self-esteem has decided to make a slow but steady come-back.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Cloud No. 9
Relieved is he who is free from debt.
The compulsive urge to purchase from credit cards may as well be termed a psychological disorder of the 21st century, if it hasn't been already done so. Recently 3 employees at my company lost their jobs due to escalated credit card loans and were deported to their home countries after being jailed for a period of time. One of them owned 10 credit cards over the course of 5 years. Banks are eager to sell credit cards to customers and customers are more than happy to use this opportunity to lavish themselves with things they can't afford. It's like a fish that falls for the bait, only to find itself in an irreversible situation.
Credit cards may have its advantages, but unless one is strictly disciplined in their spending habits, one runs the risk of paying for things one can't afford normally or paying high interest rates for credit card loans. Ultimately, an unhappy and unsatisfactory situation. In the worst case, a mountain of debt will build up and one becomes helpless.
It doesn't matter how much people around you spend on their needs and wants. It doesn't matter that the world around you is full of tempting fantasies waiting to be purchsed. It does not matter what the media advertisements tell you. Because: banks giving you credit cards don't love you or your families. Designer brands with convincing marketing campaigns dont love you or care for your looks. The truth is YOU don't love yourself enough.
There is no need to be ashamed to spend within your means in front of your peers. You can do well with a lot less than you imagine you can. You can't fulfill your lack of self-worth with credit card materialism.
Take a stand. It's your life, not theirs.
The compulsive urge to purchase from credit cards may as well be termed a psychological disorder of the 21st century, if it hasn't been already done so. Recently 3 employees at my company lost their jobs due to escalated credit card loans and were deported to their home countries after being jailed for a period of time. One of them owned 10 credit cards over the course of 5 years. Banks are eager to sell credit cards to customers and customers are more than happy to use this opportunity to lavish themselves with things they can't afford. It's like a fish that falls for the bait, only to find itself in an irreversible situation.
Credit cards may have its advantages, but unless one is strictly disciplined in their spending habits, one runs the risk of paying for things one can't afford normally or paying high interest rates for credit card loans. Ultimately, an unhappy and unsatisfactory situation. In the worst case, a mountain of debt will build up and one becomes helpless.
It doesn't matter how much people around you spend on their needs and wants. It doesn't matter that the world around you is full of tempting fantasies waiting to be purchsed. It does not matter what the media advertisements tell you. Because: banks giving you credit cards don't love you or your families. Designer brands with convincing marketing campaigns dont love you or care for your looks. The truth is YOU don't love yourself enough.
There is no need to be ashamed to spend within your means in front of your peers. You can do well with a lot less than you imagine you can. You can't fulfill your lack of self-worth with credit card materialism.
Take a stand. It's your life, not theirs.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Brazen Gecko
This post is a tribute to a remarkable personality that I've known and admired all my life.
My paternal grandfather, would turn a 100 years in October 2010. Imagine what it would be like to have lived a hundred years! It would be beyond my understanding to even know the things he would have known, the things he would have seen change over time, the experiences he would have endured, realisations on Life he would have had ...
My earliest recollection of him was when I was about 4 or 5 years old. I remember following him always and asking him many questions, to which he always had very clever, thought provoking answers. He always encouraged learning by exploring and experimenting. Much to my mother's disgust, he let me do unorthodox things like touch slime from drains, get wet in the rain and play in the mud with the earthworms. The thought of how I'd grow up might have crossed his mind as he watched me grow and develop my curiosity to make sense of the world around.
He was not just one person. He was a master of all trades. An educator in profession, a clever inventor, a passionate naturalist, devout humanist, a mastermind, an artist, a role model, he managed all this while being one of the most compassionate and patient human beings I've ever known.
He was simple in his ways; never indulged in luxuries and was content with what he had. He never wore extravagant clothes, walked as far as he could instead of using the comfort of vehicles, ate just enough to feel satisified, preferred simple vegetarian food, saved money for his dependents, never wasted resources, spent every minute of his time occupied with something meaningful, explored new territory whenever he could, lived in harmony with nature and made the effort to be a part of the lives of all his loved ones.
He spent each waking minute, thinking, being busy, doing something meaningful which would reap results not just for himself, but for many for years to come. He would invent things in his free time. He was a mathematical genius and he once handed me a one-paged calendar which can be used to read days and dates of many years backwards and forwards in time. He once made a violin, with wood that he carved. The garden of the house he lived had, literally, every type of tree from fruits, vegetables, spices to flowers. Some of them he planted decades ago. Even to this day, we enjoy the fruits of those trees he planted any time of the year.
He did right by all his children. He treated all equally as he possibly could. He was loved and admired by many. He left no stone unturned, he excelled in his duties to his children. He even managed to touch the lives of each and every grandchild he had, quite profoundly as all nine of them would agree. He was even blessed to have 3 great-grandchildren in his lifetime. How can one single person achieve all this in one lifetime, if not by the might of their will?
From my youngest days when he would make wooden toys for me using his carpentry skills, to the time I was ready to leave to university, he was part of my life from a distance. We would write to each other and he taught me how to use an envelope twice by flipping it inside-out and pasting the edges. He encouraged me to collect stamps by sending me used stamps along with his letters. He even sent me peacock feathers fallen off wild peacocks that used to visit his garden. And later when I was older, I learnt of a children's bank account he had opened for me to keep saving and some of that money I used to buy my first air ticket to leave to university.
I am amazed by how much I observed and admired him while growing up. I still aspire to be just like him in most ways.I feel proud that I am a small part of the legacy he will leave behind and because I have alot of him in me in each and every gene of mine. And though he is now probably spending his last moments in hospital, it makes me happy to think that he will leave this world a complete person, having lived life to the fullest.
A small brazen gecko ornament he gave me when I was a little child, still sits among my most cherished items.
My paternal grandfather, would turn a 100 years in October 2010. Imagine what it would be like to have lived a hundred years! It would be beyond my understanding to even know the things he would have known, the things he would have seen change over time, the experiences he would have endured, realisations on Life he would have had ...
My earliest recollection of him was when I was about 4 or 5 years old. I remember following him always and asking him many questions, to which he always had very clever, thought provoking answers. He always encouraged learning by exploring and experimenting. Much to my mother's disgust, he let me do unorthodox things like touch slime from drains, get wet in the rain and play in the mud with the earthworms. The thought of how I'd grow up might have crossed his mind as he watched me grow and develop my curiosity to make sense of the world around.
He was not just one person. He was a master of all trades. An educator in profession, a clever inventor, a passionate naturalist, devout humanist, a mastermind, an artist, a role model, he managed all this while being one of the most compassionate and patient human beings I've ever known.
He was simple in his ways; never indulged in luxuries and was content with what he had. He never wore extravagant clothes, walked as far as he could instead of using the comfort of vehicles, ate just enough to feel satisified, preferred simple vegetarian food, saved money for his dependents, never wasted resources, spent every minute of his time occupied with something meaningful, explored new territory whenever he could, lived in harmony with nature and made the effort to be a part of the lives of all his loved ones.
He spent each waking minute, thinking, being busy, doing something meaningful which would reap results not just for himself, but for many for years to come. He would invent things in his free time. He was a mathematical genius and he once handed me a one-paged calendar which can be used to read days and dates of many years backwards and forwards in time. He once made a violin, with wood that he carved. The garden of the house he lived had, literally, every type of tree from fruits, vegetables, spices to flowers. Some of them he planted decades ago. Even to this day, we enjoy the fruits of those trees he planted any time of the year.
He did right by all his children. He treated all equally as he possibly could. He was loved and admired by many. He left no stone unturned, he excelled in his duties to his children. He even managed to touch the lives of each and every grandchild he had, quite profoundly as all nine of them would agree. He was even blessed to have 3 great-grandchildren in his lifetime. How can one single person achieve all this in one lifetime, if not by the might of their will?
From my youngest days when he would make wooden toys for me using his carpentry skills, to the time I was ready to leave to university, he was part of my life from a distance. We would write to each other and he taught me how to use an envelope twice by flipping it inside-out and pasting the edges. He encouraged me to collect stamps by sending me used stamps along with his letters. He even sent me peacock feathers fallen off wild peacocks that used to visit his garden. And later when I was older, I learnt of a children's bank account he had opened for me to keep saving and some of that money I used to buy my first air ticket to leave to university.
I am amazed by how much I observed and admired him while growing up. I still aspire to be just like him in most ways.I feel proud that I am a small part of the legacy he will leave behind and because I have alot of him in me in each and every gene of mine. And though he is now probably spending his last moments in hospital, it makes me happy to think that he will leave this world a complete person, having lived life to the fullest.
A small brazen gecko ornament he gave me when I was a little child, still sits among my most cherished items.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
High Flyer
As I blog, my nephew's blue elephant (soft toy) is staring right at me. He reminds me of the Ruffles potato crisps because of the pattern on the material.
Today was an interesting day! I was running to catch my transport to office and while I was running past the lobby, a colourful paper caught the corner of my eye. I inched closer to see what it was about. And to my excitement it was a FLYER! Not just any flyer, it was advertising music classes of the sort I've being dying to follow, and in my neighbourhood! It kinda made my day special. I'm still excited about it, even though it lost its effect a bit when I got a strict warning from the office about taking leave irresponsibly with not enough notice, but enough about that! So if all goes well, I should be able to start in October, when I presume my finances will be better.
I know I have it in me to be able to progress in my musical hobby, all I lack is the confidence in myself and the lack of perserverance. Let's give this another shot, shall we?
And the moral of that story is to keep your eyes open at all times, you'll never know what new chances the wind will blow in...
Young adulthood is when we take the first few steps for most big choices of the future, like education, career, family, etc. The choices we make now will have compound effects in 10 years time. The challenges we face now will shape how we handle similar or bigger challenges of the future. How wisely we spend our time now will determine the quality of life we will have when we are older. How well we treat ourselves now will guarantee how our mentality will be there to see us through our moments of darkness. Just a thought...
Today was an interesting day! I was running to catch my transport to office and while I was running past the lobby, a colourful paper caught the corner of my eye. I inched closer to see what it was about. And to my excitement it was a FLYER! Not just any flyer, it was advertising music classes of the sort I've being dying to follow, and in my neighbourhood! It kinda made my day special. I'm still excited about it, even though it lost its effect a bit when I got a strict warning from the office about taking leave irresponsibly with not enough notice, but enough about that! So if all goes well, I should be able to start in October, when I presume my finances will be better.
I know I have it in me to be able to progress in my musical hobby, all I lack is the confidence in myself and the lack of perserverance. Let's give this another shot, shall we?
And the moral of that story is to keep your eyes open at all times, you'll never know what new chances the wind will blow in...
Young adulthood is when we take the first few steps for most big choices of the future, like education, career, family, etc. The choices we make now will have compound effects in 10 years time. The challenges we face now will shape how we handle similar or bigger challenges of the future. How wisely we spend our time now will determine the quality of life we will have when we are older. How well we treat ourselves now will guarantee how our mentality will be there to see us through our moments of darkness. Just a thought...
Black and White
Had a farewell dinner for a good friend who also happens to be the best Chinese friend I've met todate, years and miles after and away from my time in South East Asia.
Everyday I am reminded that man-made denominations of race, religion, sexual orientation, caste, gender have no relation to negative/positive stereotypes that, again, man created. Each individual, regardless of the sect he/she belongs to, is responsible for his/her actions. If the entire human race share the same genome, suffer more or less the same, feel and think in a universal manner, why is there a need to distance ourselves from people who look different on the outside or who grew up in a differnt locality or who followed a different faith? If globalisation has done one good thing, that would be in providing a common ground for people of various backgrounds to come together, live and eat together, and in knowing and understanding each other, dispel myths on racism, negative stereotypes, inferior/ superior complexes and other such baseless beliefs.
Shu needs to catch up on reality, sleep, healthy food, exercise, family, good old friends and a dentist.
Everyday I am reminded that man-made denominations of race, religion, sexual orientation, caste, gender have no relation to negative/positive stereotypes that, again, man created. Each individual, regardless of the sect he/she belongs to, is responsible for his/her actions. If the entire human race share the same genome, suffer more or less the same, feel and think in a universal manner, why is there a need to distance ourselves from people who look different on the outside or who grew up in a differnt locality or who followed a different faith? If globalisation has done one good thing, that would be in providing a common ground for people of various backgrounds to come together, live and eat together, and in knowing and understanding each other, dispel myths on racism, negative stereotypes, inferior/ superior complexes and other such baseless beliefs.
Shu needs to catch up on reality, sleep, healthy food, exercise, family, good old friends and a dentist.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
One of the boys
Haven't blogged in awhile...that's how it is with me. Waxing and waning.
Finally I have got my driver's license, by an unfair advantage. Hard to go by moral rules in the real world. I am no model citizen nor do I want to pretend to be one. You only have to know the wrong people to get the right things done.
With enough luck, and provided no more parts fall out of my 4WD, I should be driving on the roads, with the rest of them crazy people. Can't.wait.
Feels like I've come a long way from 1 year ago. From the defeated and angry, pathetic nervous wreck to just being angry and more involved in life, definitely progress. Everyday is a struggle to shine through the black hole you left in me. But now I try twice as hard to shine, thanks to that.
Living pay check to pay check, not knowing where the future holds, not knowing what I am becoming feels dangerously good.
Finally I have got my driver's license, by an unfair advantage. Hard to go by moral rules in the real world. I am no model citizen nor do I want to pretend to be one. You only have to know the wrong people to get the right things done.
With enough luck, and provided no more parts fall out of my 4WD, I should be driving on the roads, with the rest of them crazy people. Can't.wait.
Feels like I've come a long way from 1 year ago. From the defeated and angry, pathetic nervous wreck to just being angry and more involved in life, definitely progress. Everyday is a struggle to shine through the black hole you left in me. But now I try twice as hard to shine, thanks to that.
Living pay check to pay check, not knowing where the future holds, not knowing what I am becoming feels dangerously good.
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