Diaries of a mad maniac

Lately, I've been really working at work. I have just realised that I have never done a more stressful job. Cramming for exams have come close, but atleast there were days off. Feels like I am a leaf being washed along in the strong currents of a continuously flowing river.

Today, I failed my first driving road test. I am glad this country has such high standards for passing new drivers. It is a costly affair to fail, but I can understand the reasoning behind the process.

I am still reading Greg Heffley's diaries. It is a very entertaining piece of work and a familiar window to the challenges we faced growing up as children. Heh heh... here I go down mischievous memory lane...

I think Michael Buble has one of those really gifted voices! Music.really.helps.cope.with.life.

Family will always be one of those things that will be beyond my level of control. It needs constant work, effort, thinking, patience, understanding, etc, etc. It is after all one of evolution's strategies for survival of the species.

If I had one wish today to be in some place for a holiday, I'd be in Greece - the famed land of Zeus and the gods and goddesses of Mt Olympus, salads/olives and Homer - where white stone walls meet blue oceans.

The Wimpy Kid

Whoever said money can't buy happiness was an idiot. He obviously didn't take his money to the right place or he had other ideas for the term "happiness". Give me money to pay off some of my dues, and watch me re-define happiness. But money probably can't sustain happiness.

Last week, I had to take some desperate measures to keep my sanity intact. Namely, loitering in shopping malls, shopping, window shopping and eating my favourite mint-chocolate ice cream, ALONE. I must say it was very liberating. I made some great purchases, including a compass and a whoopie cushion... and some great discoveries, namely some interesting books.

So this week I need to come up with a similar adventure.

The Butterfly Effect

My life is in utter chaos these days. And somewhere, long ago I read something to the effect that chaos was infact an order, and anything other than chaos is a disturbed equilibrium. I need to go read up on that.

Weekends now are packed with brain draining, adrenaline pumping, patience-testing activities. Children are not reasonable or logical. Adults are also not, mostly.

Another work week for the procrastinator. Two gruelling days of deadlines and obligations. Is it really worth all this worry and brain overload, for a few extra bucks, some expensive possessions and some luxuries? It does not seem as attractive as a simple and humble life.

I'm avoiding my old friends, I dont like chips as much, I am not sympathetic as much, I dont like weekends anymore, I dont watch movies anymore, I am changing to something else.

Rites of passage

Life has been all about making it through various rites of passage. Passing school exams, gaining acceptance of people you admire, getting through university, losing loved ones, difficult romantic relationships, jobs, financial hardships, divorce, retrenchment and sickness, just to name a few.

And the point of all these rigorous and sometimes painfully memorable experiences is to make sure that you become tough enough to stand the tests of time that will keep coming your way. No doubt after each experience you emerge slightly more aware of yourself, slightly more fearless, slightly more knowledgeable  slightly more confident in yourself and slightly thicker in skin. And as time goes by, the incidents become less significant and the lessons learnt become more important.

You are your own maker and whether you know it or not, you are in the process of shaping your character even right now. So don't be afraid to take chances, fall, lose and get hurt. Just stand up, dust yourself and move forward, 'cos this ain't the last time you will have to do it.

Norms

Doesn't anyone get tired of socialising?? Oh man, I do. Those are the most frequent times I am not myself.

I figure I am an introvert with a limited social circle. I take a long time to make lasting and meaningful friendships in which I am totally comfortable being myself. The rest just remain shallow acquaintances. All they will probably know about me is that I smile alot, I am neat, organised and I am strictly disciplined in my ways.

While I prefer spending my time alone with my thoughts and my activities, I do try to spend some of my time with like-minded friends I call close. And I love seeing the different things about them. Call me for a movie or a travel adventure, and I'll be packed and ready to go before you do. But call me to do something out of my comfort zone, and you might notice apologetic calls/ messages of why I could not come! That is just me. If I could not turn down your invitation politely, I would make a believable excuse after giving it a lot of thought.

Even family affairs are a social affair to me. It takes effort on my part to be involved, thoughtful and keep the intricate balances in check.

As for the shallow acquaintances I mentioned, they are the worst and the most exhausting type. Due to lack of substance, they quickly collapse and are forgotten.