Is it that time of the month?? Not quite. Or is it that lately many people are giving me enough reasons to get pissed off?? Yes, most likely.
Don't recede into your shell, Shu ... it's hard to get out once you do.
Dear Mum/ Dad,
I am fully aware of the fact I am 25 years of age and that it is customary for a girl my age to start thinking of marriage according to our social standards.
While I understand your parental concerns over who will be willing to marry me when I am 35 and relatively unattractive, I can assure you it is not any concern of mine. I am confident that when the time is right and when I feel ready for marriage, things will fall in place. I have not decided to stay single for the rest of my life and I will certainly give a fair chance to a decent guy I meet who manages to impress me with his personality.
You have brought me up to be independent when it comes to making big decisions. As far as I could remember, you have let me (or watched me) choose my subjects, my degree, my friends, my clothes, my jobs, my love interests, my hobbies, my finances, etc. Similarly, I would like to have my own shot at picking the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. And I would rather live with all the consequences of my decisions than have you hand-pick a man for me. Not to mention, you dont even know me well enough to know what kind of personality would complement mine. I don't want to play along in an "arranged marriage" game as it is based on alot of underlying expectations and I do not wish to inconvenience another person or a family by giving any false hope. Also, I would not hear you take an astrologer's word over such a big decision that concerns me.
The reason I am pushing this off is simply for the fact that a committment such as a marriage at this point in my life, would be an inconvenience to the future I am paving for myself. I want to be able to support myself and you both on my own than have to depend on a husband for it. I have no doubt that I would make a good wife to a husband who treats me with respect and loyalty. I also feel my personality would make me a very devoted and caring mother should I decide to take on that responsibility.
Honestly, I can understand your love for me and the worry that follows as a result. But this is a decision that I truly want to make on my own and in my own terms. I will not be pushed to make this decision based on deadlines, social standards, biological clocks or what your friends/ our relatives think.
Dad, I know would not approach and talk to me about issues like this and that you always put across such things through Mum. That's too bad, because I think you are probably the only one of the two of you that I can have a logical conversation with in English. Mum as you know is too emotional and she always crushes me in with her polished grammar in our native language, which I am poor at expressing.
Mum, I admire you for the pains you took in bringing us up and for teaching us to be strong, independent, practical, compassionate and to do what is right. So you of all people, should be able to understand my reasoning.
Please trust me when I ask you not to be worried. I am the person I love the most in this world and that should be comforting enough for you because my priorities now lie in making my life secure and happy, within the noble means that you both have taught me to follow.
So I'll leave you two to best decide on how to turn down the marriage proposals that have been coming your way...
Love you always.
Yours,
Very special youngest daughter.
Don't recede into your shell, Shu ... it's hard to get out once you do.
Dear Mum/ Dad,
I am fully aware of the fact I am 25 years of age and that it is customary for a girl my age to start thinking of marriage according to our social standards.
While I understand your parental concerns over who will be willing to marry me when I am 35 and relatively unattractive, I can assure you it is not any concern of mine. I am confident that when the time is right and when I feel ready for marriage, things will fall in place. I have not decided to stay single for the rest of my life and I will certainly give a fair chance to a decent guy I meet who manages to impress me with his personality.
You have brought me up to be independent when it comes to making big decisions. As far as I could remember, you have let me (or watched me) choose my subjects, my degree, my friends, my clothes, my jobs, my love interests, my hobbies, my finances, etc. Similarly, I would like to have my own shot at picking the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. And I would rather live with all the consequences of my decisions than have you hand-pick a man for me. Not to mention, you dont even know me well enough to know what kind of personality would complement mine. I don't want to play along in an "arranged marriage" game as it is based on alot of underlying expectations and I do not wish to inconvenience another person or a family by giving any false hope. Also, I would not hear you take an astrologer's word over such a big decision that concerns me.
The reason I am pushing this off is simply for the fact that a committment such as a marriage at this point in my life, would be an inconvenience to the future I am paving for myself. I want to be able to support myself and you both on my own than have to depend on a husband for it. I have no doubt that I would make a good wife to a husband who treats me with respect and loyalty. I also feel my personality would make me a very devoted and caring mother should I decide to take on that responsibility.
Honestly, I can understand your love for me and the worry that follows as a result. But this is a decision that I truly want to make on my own and in my own terms. I will not be pushed to make this decision based on deadlines, social standards, biological clocks or what your friends/ our relatives think.
Dad, I know would not approach and talk to me about issues like this and that you always put across such things through Mum. That's too bad, because I think you are probably the only one of the two of you that I can have a logical conversation with in English. Mum as you know is too emotional and she always crushes me in with her polished grammar in our native language, which I am poor at expressing.
Mum, I admire you for the pains you took in bringing us up and for teaching us to be strong, independent, practical, compassionate and to do what is right. So you of all people, should be able to understand my reasoning.
Please trust me when I ask you not to be worried. I am the person I love the most in this world and that should be comforting enough for you because my priorities now lie in making my life secure and happy, within the noble means that you both have taught me to follow.
So I'll leave you two to best decide on how to turn down the marriage proposals that have been coming your way...
Love you always.
Yours,
Very special youngest daughter.
Bravo.
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