All good things come to an end.

WOW. It's been exactly an YEAR of blogging on Planet Shu since my first post on 17 May 2010. What a run it has been!

As the time has come to wrap up this blog, I have a few things to say...

In the year that passed, this blog has given me immense happiness; something to look forward in life, an outlet to express my emotions, a chapter in life I can always go back and read, an analysis into my own self, the warm support of several close friends and many little invaluable lessons learnt along the way.

The most important of all, personally, is that I surpassed my own beliefs in my writing abilities and proved to myself that I can, in fact, write and keep writing. Not only that, I actually found blogging highly enjoyable. I don't have to hire someone to write my autobiography after all!

"When you found me, I was living in a deep, dark (s)hell. I didn't even recognise myself. You came along, took the pains to hunt me down from the shadows, and dragged me out of this (s)hell, screaming and kicking, in to the World outside. You gave me a voice, you gave me strength, you gave me belief in myself, you gave me a sense of self-worth and you gave me reason to keep moving forward when I had none. I am a stronger person today."

Thank you all, once again, for the support and encouragement. I could not have done without it.

[The rambles of this blogger continue on http://www.chocolatecaterpillar.blogspot.sg/]

"Music is what feelings sound like"

Music is such a powerful uniting force. Something so basic as sound produced at different frequencies has given rise to so many combinations of musical pieces, and this has transcended time, traditions, instruments, languages, cultures and styles. Even with thousands of years of history, music is still evolving with endless possibilities.

Earlier in the day, I attended a "jamming session" with a group of mostly professional artistes and I feel really good about being a small part of a piece that I'll be playing with them. Truth is, my amateur skills will be safely masked by these pros on the big day. And in an ordinary practice session, I don't speak the language they speak so I miss out on 90% of the dialogues! But the music, I do understand. Fortunate experiences of closely watching people such as these and the bounds to which one can push oneself in this line, is an endless source of inspiration.

I've also bumped into plenty of people who have given me encouraging nudges to keep going;

A mom who was the first one to acknowledge my affinity to screechy instruments and get me my first violin in 1995 with her hard-earned pocket money. A very supportive sis who just knows what to do without having me to ask for any support. Several teachers who didn't give up on me in the face of challenges. Another family, whose coincidental aquaintance marked the beginning of a solid base foundation in this hobby. The ex, for walking the many extra miles to pick and drop me off at classes and for sitting patiently in empty car parks at night, studying under dim street lights as I practised my notes. Friends who patiently listened to me play (often with alot of feedback from the microphones!) on webcam, so that I may get over the fear of playing to audiences, friends who came to watch concerts for support (yeah, you know who you are!), and many others who have walked hand-in-hand in this journey...

So, yes, Thank YOU.

"Cut out the poetry, Watson!"

Recent advances in technology which make our lives so much connected and convenient must be commended. I am now able to read Sherlock Holmes through a phone application which I downloaded from http://www.gutenberg.com/. Until now, I had missed many opportunities to read that particular book. I didn't even have to go to a library or carry a book with me everywhere I go. Whenever I have some free time, be it waiting for someone, waiting in a queue, in need of a distraction from routine or simply waiting to fall asleep in bed, I can simply turn on the application, go to a bookmarked page and continue reading it. Amazing!

My thoughts on the book so far... Surely, Holmes is the star character, without whose advanced observational and deducing skills, we won't have any adventures to read about. But he is far from being a normal human bieng and had I known him in real life, I doubt he would have made a good friend. Watson, on the other hand, I find is a more relatable character. His feelings are honestly and more frequently expressed in the story. Their relationship however puzzles me. Watson, even with his poor investigative skills (in comparison with Holmes) and minimal contributions to solving mysteries, is very loyal to Holmes. Holmes, when he can surely use any trained person or a trusted police officer to be his side kick, prefers Watson instead. Let's assume Watson gets some glory in getting a juicy story to write about from an insider's point of view and perhaps also partial credit in solving a mystery, what does Holmes get from Watson? Someone who can put up with his strange ways and emotionally unresponsive personality? Or is it someone who obliges to any request Holmes makes? Let see, if I can understand this better as I read on. I'm still on Chapter 6 out of a possible 30.

Having spent 2 troubled weeks, this is analysis week. I've had experiences dealing with 4 different (difficult) people, who got to see a very reactive side of me, I usually don't summon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Case 1
A close friend from work, to whom I lent some money at her hour of need many months back and some of my sister's DVDs 6 months back. Time went by, she never attempted to return the DVDs even with a few reminders and she never spoke about the money even after the "agreed date for returning" passed by. I was feeling bad whenever my sister asked about the DVDs and things got tight after my unfortunate incident of losing a big cash bill recently.

Action: I sent her a very strong, no sugar glaze, message on Facebook instead of telling her directly at work. I did this because I am better at expressing myself in writing than speaking.

Response: She was very apologetic and confessed she "forgot about it" due to her carelessness and said she would return it this week at work.

Lesson: Be short and sharp in expressing what I need, whichever way I am comfortable doing it. Doesn't matter what people think of me, if I am reasonable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Case 2
A government official who has been neglecting processing an application I sent 14 months ago, despite numerous emails and calls.

Action: A very vocal and good friend of mine initiated a phone call to him, and I followed up with a strong email and copied some extra email addresses in hopes that someone senior might question this incompetent officer.

Response: Instant feedback from him and positive signs of him processing my application.

Lesson: ALWAYS include more recipients in an email, in addition to the person it is addressed to, preferably a senior authority, in emails that require action and transparency in dealings.

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Case 3
A blouse given to a tailor for stitching.

Action: He didn't deliver on the promised date. I was made to go an extra trip to collect this item to find out he hadn't even started on it. I went ballistic and made alot of noise at the shop. He promised to complete it the next day, after I lied about wanting to wear it the next day and expressed my disgust at their service. The only reason I pushed him was because I wanted to get my hands on this suit as early as possible as I was very excited to have it back.

Response: He did return it the next day. However, the job was VERY badly done, rushed and probably done in spite. Now I have a misfitting blouse, beyond repair, to wear for a very important occasion.

Lesson: Be very tactful in dealings that involve the need for good service. Treat your aid with respect and understanding and you will have cooperation and good service. Treat them badly and they will do the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Case 4
As elaborately mentioned in my previous blog, this is about the girl who travels to work with me. Despite many reminders, she is consistently late, causing most of us (mostly me) stress in getting to work on time.

Action: I sent her a sms, stating clearly that I am unhappy about it and my (drastic) course of action to deal with her. I stuck to my word from the very next day, when she was late once again.

Response: She got my message loud and clear. She was apologetic and did not engage in an argument to reverse my decision.

Lesson: Consistency is key to dealing with people who fail in certain areas habitually. Giving into their ways or loosening up, only causes more disappointment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No two experiences or personalities are alike and each object of conflict must have a customised method of approach. The first most important thing to do is to regain composure before reacting. Second, one must consider all the facts of the situation. Third, one must be reasonable when making a decision. Fourth, the message going across must be short and to the point showing reason and some degree of understanding. Fifth, be consistent and do not waiver in the decision made (provided it was made with the above considerations)...

....in theory, at least!

Anger Management

Oh wow... time for a blog!!

This short absence from blogging has mostly been because I have been learning to deal with several difficult people the past few weeks. Usually at the face of a conflict, I sweep the issues under the rug or simply run away. Man, I really need to grow some reinforcements and face it early before things turn into volcanic eruptions!

My blog is also my outlet for venting out; I have to let it out somewhere, or it can be catastrophic with many fatalities! It takes a lot to make me angry, but when someone or something has gone beyond my good-willed tolerance levels, I am very unforgiving and unwilling to compromise. I value alot of good habits and punctuality holds a supreme spot. One of my travel buddies has serious time management issues. She is regularly late to get her ass ready and out of the apartment in the mornings, and as a result 5 of us (including herself) are usually late. I am affected the most as I am the last one to reach office after fighting for a parking lot. Today was her unlucky day, I reached office only 3 mins past my official starting time, but she has pissed me off on too many days and so she received a warning:

Hi X,
I am unhappy with you being consistently late. I have been to office past 9am too often. From tomorrow onwards, I will give you the usual missed call 10 minutes before I arrive at your place, and if you are not downstairs, I will assume you are late and won't wait. I am sure you undertand that it is my responsibility to make sure everyone, including myself, gets to work on time.

She called back and was very apologetic and admitted it's her fault entirely. Not before having the nerve to say "I noticed your aura was unlike other days and you were very upset". SERIOUSLY WTF, you only noticed TODAY??? You SUCK at reading auras. Then she said, "Please don't drive off if I am not downstairs". Listen you *insert suitable noun here*, I am NOT going to waste any more phone credit of mine to call you to see if you are coming or not, and certainly NOT going to wait for you if I don't hear from you. Don't you get it? It is UNFAIR to the others and you are just being plain SELFISH. I suppose you don't get it, after all.

Can't wait for tomorrow morning to see what happens.... *evil grin*

On to better things to talk about. Recently, I put up a scanned copy of an old hand-written calendar on Facebook, that my paternal grandfather handed over it to me before he passed on. He was very clever and good with numbers (among other things), and this one paged calendar could be used for checking dates for all the years of the 21st century (to be verified for other years, but it works until 2028 for certain). I have no proof that he designed it on his own, and I won't go as far as to make an annoucement like that. I then tagged, all his children and grandchildren who were on Facebook. Seeing all the comments of these people, I realised what an impact he made on so many people. Also, we relatives are not too close or the type to keep in touch regularly, but it has been heart-warming to see how everyone is united under this common link "seeya" (meaning, grandfather in my native language) and openly expressing their admiration and respect for him on Facebook, several months after he passed on.

This brings me to an interesting thought. The video below says "Imagine what people will be saying at your funeral and if you don't like what you hear, go do something about your life", I am thinking, it should be rather what people will be saying about you LONG AFTER the funeral.

Youtube: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

My Name is Earl

You know how life screws over one person and rewards another at the same time? Every once in a while you have to be the sucker who got screwed.

Lately, the feeling of living in the inside of my head has been so overwhelming that I have been less mindful of what I am doing physically. So today after being entrusted with a huge cash bill, I was sent on a shopping errand. I don't remember much of the events that happened, but I lost this bill. Desperate attempts to find it were futile.

It took me exactly 1.5 hours to get over the shock, the disbelief, the anger and sadness of the loss and means of replacement; all thanks to an adorable picture of a cat loaf! Feelings of disappointment over the unexpected turn of events remain, but with acceptance of facts, it is easier to handle.

So that was the sucker's part of the story.

Let's see the lucky person's side of the story. This area was particularly crowded with foreign workers of the lower-income range. I hope the one who found this bill was someone who needed it badly. Although I can't be sure of who the recipient was, it is some consolation knowing that who ever took it, will make good use of it for their happiness.

What a day!

Small Talk

Today I was awfully pissed off at a "friend" from work. Lately, she has been very distant and she is undoutedly passing a very destructive phase in her romantic life. Add to it, she is also quite manipulative. Work has been very hectic lately and my lunch breaks are reduced in half. I come to the lunch room to enjoy my lunch in peace. But no, I can't do that; there is a rowdy bunch who laughs so loudly, you can hardly hear your own thoughts. To add to that, my "friend", starts updating me on her love life without any invitation (I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, WOMAN. I HAVE LOST TRACK OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS AND THEIR BIOS. NOW LET ME EAT MY FOOD IN PEACE), as I play with my food longingly, trying to sneak in a spoonful of food when she stops talking for a bit.

Oh no, I am not that nice. I may feel sorry for her later and have her unload her troubles on me willingly, but not today. In the end, I was forced to listen to her simply because I had no other place to go and eat in a hurry. And she had no clue. URGH.

I very much dislike having "small talk" with people I don't associate with much. It is too fake most of the time:

X: HI (with much enthusiasm), how ARE you?
Me (for the hundredth time today): I am good, thanks *forced smile*.
X: How was your weekend?
Me: It was good (Quick Shu, try to recall what you did) *forced smile* (Shit, I can't remember! :O). I relaxed at home *forced smile* (OH OH I know, try the weather!). It is getting hotter now, can barely go out to do anything! (which is a lie, the weather is still bearable).
X: That's right! (loud laughter, hard to tell if it is real or forced), which is why I did _______ and ________ with ________ on Friday. OMG it was SO exciting. Blah Blah Blah. Next weekend, I want to do _______ at _______ with ________. And more Blah Blah Blahs.
Me: *forced smile* (Good grief. HELP) *another forced smile*
X: So how is that report coming along?
Me: (Finally, thought you'd never ask). Oh? That is coming along well. I should be done by lunch time. I will come and see you about it later today.
X: Thanks. I'll catch up later.
Me: Great, you have a good day. (Whew)
X: Yeah, you too.

Walks past, to notice another small talker approaching. (Quick Shu, make a dash for it!)

*WHIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

(Success! :D)

The Show Goes On

This week's No. 1 hit on on Shu's OCD chart IS:

*drum roll*



DAMN, I can't get enough of the orchestral music playing in the background. It even has a Chinese classical music feel to it. Love it!!!

Of resources

My phone rings and I take a look. "Asshole calling". Answer? Reject? my phone asks. I ignore.

Yes, that's what I've named him under my saved phone contacts!!! Brings a smile to my face each time he calls :D

I have a phone stalker/ nuisance caller. He gives me regular missed calls. Very few now, but a few weeks back, he was very persistent. I picked up the first call, not knowing who it is/ what it was about. He even managed to profess his intentions: "I want for you" (DUDE, if you ever want to attract a female, get your grammar right first. Chicks dig good English). Then, he kept calling till my sis threatened to "call the police". His calls reduced after that, and now, he gives me the occasional missed call at 12-ish in the night.

I also found out, because of a certain smart phone application which picks up people using this app AND being a saved contact on my phone, that his user name was "Ahmad". So the next time I face the unfortunate event of talking to this psychopath, I am going to call him by this name and see if he pees his pants. Worth a shot, anyway.

Apparently, my dad reads my facebook updates. My parents don't really know me like this blog does. As much as it is disturbing to know my dad sees my updates and judges me, I'm glad he gets to see a part of me that way. Damn, I got to be more careful now. No swear words. No sexual references. No racy comments. No revealing photos. I can do that. 

An example on how thought processes evolve as one ages (hypothetical scenes added for visual effect):

Stage 1:
What the hell is wrong with me? Why is everything I do wrong? (turns up the volume to max on her CD player and toys with the idea of accidentally drinking a few extra sleeping pills.)

Stage 2:
I am not assertive enough. People don't care about what I think. I'll never get ahead in life being like this. I am useless. (She comes home after a dreadful day in school, humiliated and frightened, throws herself on the bed and weeps.)

Stage 3
I am not very assertive. But that is MY inherent style. Sure, it is harder to get things done being like that. But I WILL find (quiet) ways of getting what I want. (She smiles.)

"Social Networking"

There is actually a term called "Facebook depression", gaining popularity in today's society. Eventhough the article on it I read addressed teens with low self-esteem issues, I think it applies to a huge population of Facebook users, regardless of age.

I myself have fallen into this plenty of times, mostly for brief moments, when I see and hear about all the happy, smiling faces going to exotic places, spending great times with loving partners or hanging out with adventurous companions. These carefully picked photos and phrases (I myself am guilty of this practice) just paint a very biased picture of the world. And if one is particularly feeling down on life and wallowing in self pity, then, spending hours on Facebook comparing notes will only send them down a spiral. For me, it doesn't take long to kick myself and tell myself that these are probably the very few great things happening in their lives and that I should be happy for them in the least.

Also, I realise that the morons who write silly things and show off their imperfections are not a bad thing after all. They are some of the few who keep it real in the Facebook world.

Meet the Friends

In the course of our life's journey, we make many friends. Different circumstances bring us together and different reasons keep us together. Some will remain closer to our heart than others.

The other day, I arranged for my 3 closest friends here (from office) to meet my travel buddies at an outdoor movie screening at a beautifully designed Egyptian-themed mall. I was a bit nervous. After all, they come from different backgrounds and the only common link for starters, was me. The initial unfamiliarity is like a black veil separating two worlds. Though, I know very well what's on either side, there is no knowing if these two worlds can co-exist happily when the veil comes off! It was not entirely a disaster and it will take time to develop and get past their differences in culture, gender, interests and preferences.

Adele. I first heard a song of hers on radio, when it peaked number one on the charts. The first time, I didn't like it; it is very different from what you might hear on radio these days. The second time, I heard it on radio during a long quiet drive, I was blown away. Somehow, I was left mystified by her voice and control of the song. I watched her on YouTube and thought to myself, how strong and confident she sounded, and that it must be because of her mature age (she looked matured). But today, I read up about her on Wiki and find out she is only 22 years of age! :O Looks can be deceiving!

Shuri is wondering if it is time to have an intervention for her Sis, who lately has been going on sudden bouts of spending cash on expensive shoes. This month alone, she got 3 new pairs. Compare this with the number of times she actually went out somewhere fancy wearing those of shoes this month = 3 days. hmmmm....the stats are a bit disturbing...

A New Delivery!

I went to see a new born baby today. My first impressions: it looked so tiny and fragile and dispropotionate. I didn't know what else I was supposed to think! I didn't feel my heart turn to mush like it does when I see baby animals. While in conversation with its mother, she describes her caesarean experience: it was better than my first. They gave a lot of pain killers and a local anaesthetic (injected to the lower spine) and I watched the whole operation. To me, this seemed like a development from traditional times. I mean, who doesn't want to take the path of least pain? Or pain distributed over a course of a week instead of that same raw pain felt over a short course of 5-10 hours? The healthcare system has brilliantly tapped into this market. Back in the olden days, child birth probably didn't cost a penny (might have cost a life, though). But now, a spohisticated child delivery as described above, costs nearly USD 6000.

The ICC Cricket World Cup is nearing it's finals. I'm thrilled the Aussies are out for good. Sure, they are a strong team, but those guys really have a rotten attitude. Plus, they've won too many times in the past. It's time for the tables to turn.

Seems like the English have lost their patents to the English Language. Seriously, I can understand many nationalities speak English better than I understand some of the English people's at work.

I just finished watching Karate Kid (the one with Will Smith's son) today, after 4 days of watching bits and pieces. It had its good moments,especially with Jackie Chan. But I thought the ending was rather lame. An African-American kid who trains possibly 3 months wins a tournament against all the Chinese kids who have probably been training for YEARS. I'm not buying it. Shu, when did you turn to such a cynic?!

This guy has a really sexy voice:
"Wonderful World" by James Morrison



Damn, I am coming down with a sore throat.

A day in the life of an obsessive sociophobe

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
(Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back
- Ke$ha


So where was I? yeah...

I wake up in the morning at 7am (Tick Tock, on the clock...)

Take your irresponsible song and get off my head, you evil siren.....THANK YOU.

____________________________________________________________

"OMG, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING ABOUT ME????"

Scene 1: The morning rush
I am getting ready to go to work. Once inside the washroom, I make sure the door is locked (having walked in on about thrice on separate occassions, I will forever remember to check!). Once done, I scan around to make sure everything is in order before I leave. While getting ready in my room, I make sure the curtains are closed because a bright light bulb on the inside can make things very visible to the outside.

Scene 2: Off to work
In the lift, there is a huge mirror. This is where I do a final check to see that my attire is in order (the shirt buttoned up, no tears, no marks, creases are fine), no flyaway hairs and right accessories. I flee from the lift to the car park, not looking around to see who's looking at me (yeah....), until I have my shades on, which is when I can hold my head up high. And once inside Chariotte, all feels safe. Loud music is on. Then my new-found friends join in and we are one big happy family, except on certain quiet mornings when we are still half asleep. The sociophobe has dozed off...

Scene 3: At work
If someone says "Good Morning", I say it back and smile. Usually, I am very active and chirpy in the mornings, provided I have had my tea and breakfast. But if I had to say it first, it is never consistent. I tell it to some people, not others, and this varies for different days. In my world, there are tiny time frames when certain tasks must be completed (like saying Morning when passing by a certain desk), or the opportunity is lost. I like to avoid saying it to some people, like my boss. I look up and see my boss turned away and busy with his computer. (Whew, the sociophobe thinks. No need to face him now). While I work, my ears are active and pick up footsteps and conversations. I can tell alot of people by the sound of their footsteps now, without even seeing who it is. At the coffee machine, I get my cappaccino, hoping I don't have to bump into anyone. If I do, I make hollow conversations as I plot a rapid exit in my head. When my boss is coming towards me, I look away (to be honest, I think he's a sociophobe too!) or sometimes manage to mutter a nearly inaudible  "Hi". The day goes by, I try to do everthing right. I try to be in control. I re-read my emails, check for grammar several times and anticipate the various impressions it might create in the minds of others. I am wary of conversations I make. So careful that sometimes, I can't maintain normal conversations with colleagues, out of fear of judgement (interesting to note that I am a highly judgemental person in return) or because I am busy distracted running several simulated scenarios in my head.

Scene 4: Lunch
Entering the lunch room with a room full of staff is disheartening. I am much more comfortable in smaller groups less than 5. So most days, I find excuses to drive out in my lunch break or find places of solitude to have my lunch while I listen to music, read a book or simply live inside my head. Finally, a quick trip to the washroom, again, to check for flyaway hair or colourful pieces of food wedged between my teeth!

Scene 5: Social situations
These are the hardest, if I am not around people I trust and those who I am convinced can put up with my eccentricities. I try hard to play cool, while hiding away any fear or awkwardness. Sometimes, out of nervousness, I do blabber inappropriate things, something I would never do when in my comfort groups. I would try to avoid activites that leave me socially vulnerable like giving a public speech, making good impressions, interviews, performances, dancing, drinking, looking different, wearing different and even thinking different and saying it out. I like to blend in, without attracting too much attention. I think hard about the types of topics I should converse on, once I have analysed the various outcomes of impressions/ interpretations of what I say.

General characteristics: paintakingly careful, hypersensitive to feedback, observant, detail oriented, methodical, organised
Suitable professions: criminal, detective, mother, shrink

It is not an easy life to lead. Identifying these manic sides to me has helped me to consciously overcome some of the associated challenges; while attempting to "grow a spine" and "voice out my opinions" as some would say. On the up side, some of these same characteristics, make me good at a lot of the things I do and does not make me any less of a person!

Random

I have taken a small break from Mousehunt, the game on Facebook that I was so piously dedicated to. Even in games, they make it hard for you to accumilate gold. So after awhile the stress of making gold gets to you in a negative way.

Months of bitching about my job finally paid off this week. I got appreciated and praised one day BY THE BOSS HIMSELF for coming up with a good idea for improving things in the work place. Being the desperado I am for any morsel of attention that comes my way, I was floating 3 inches off the ground for most of the day. Pathetic, Shu. But it's amazing what a tiny line of encouragement can do to the attitude of an employee. Seriously, they need to capitalise on this stuff!

Facebook. Can't do without it these days. While it has its many advantages, one can be easily put off by things such as reading annoying posts of others like them wanting to kill themselves (why announce?), finding it difficult to find friends on the rather unfriendly friend finder, and seeing notifications from the same set of people on the news feed (eventhough I changed the settings to reflect feeds from everyone), receiving game requests, to name some.

Also on the same topic, I noticed that 98% of my photos on Facebook are ones taken with people of MY gender, which might lead people to suspect that I am a homosexual. I can't be bothered to clear misconceptions.



I am so sleepy, I should go.

The Sun always shines again

" job n. A regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one's trade, occupation, or profession."

That's right, the definition does not include words such as "satisfaction", "happiness", "appreciation" or "development".

I've been sour and bitter about my job lately. Mostly, due to accumilation of unexpressed emotions (nothing out of the ordinary about Shu). It developed into a maggot-infested corpse of an issue, where it's decomposing juices oozed into my work and personal life. I stumbled on this goo and fell a few times this month.

When I dusted myself up again, I looked around me.
1. One of my travelling buddies, works 8 hours a day, 7 days a week with no days off for even a public holiday.
2. I know someone who kept their job for a few years eventhough her boss was a pervert and made passes which can be termed as sexual harassment.
3. I know plenty of friends "in-between jobs", and even I've been there.
4. I see plenty of domestic workers working here, with untold hardships and minimal wages.
5. I see many doing odd jobs, dodging authorities, living in unhabitable conditions and working amidst many occupational hazards.
6. I know a friend who works 3 jobs to make ends meet.
7. And this list does go on.

It's far easier for me to complain and be unhappy about a few inconveniences than be thankful for the plenty of things I've taken for granted about this job of mine. So I've decided to try and stop being petty about it.

Also on the topic of work, I am part of a committee organising social events for the staff. The next event, to my horror, is called a "Pub Crawl". Yes, as the name suggests, it's going to be about crawling to about 5 different pubs back to back. There will be alot of booze and drinking games and making history (mostly embarassing/ unprofessional ones). And I *really want* to worm myself out of this event, which is harder now that I'm obliged to participate as a member of that committee. Seriously Shu, you get yourself in real pickled situations. And then, there's also this guy at work who I seem to have a massive crush on.

Ground Zero

Yesterday was bright and sunny.
Today, it feels the exact opposite.
My world spirals downwards today.
It lacks the will to stand tall, amidst storms that come my way.
It is too much attuned to fluctuations in external circumstances.

Today, I agree to the same things I contradicted yesterday.
Sad it is, to have no choice but to run back to the arms that made you cry in the first place.
Fearful it is, to look back and realise there are no guardians angels watching over me.
I can only watch in helplessness, while cruel acts cannot be reasoned out with cruel people.
I failed to stand up for the ones who needed protecting.
Disappointed is what I become, when I measure the world with my scales.

Does not matter where I flee to, it follows me everywhere I go.
"Castle Walls" - T.I. ft. Christina Aguilera

Cirque de la vie

Ah, what a terrible day! One of the bosses, kept me long after work, all the while when 4 people were waiting for me. Nothing ticks off Shu like being kept waiting or keeping other people waiting. To make things worse, there was a heavy traffic jam, none like I've ever seen in 7 months.

Shu's travelling 'circus' now consists of 4 people (excluding herself). The most interesting part is that the 4 of them come from different countries! One from Philippines, one from Egypt, one from Indonesia and one from Morocco; so that's 5 different nationalities squeezed in one car. Two of the best parts to her day are traveling to and from work with banging music and this noisy bunch who get along quite well except for the one from Philippines, mostly because of the age gap. She looked nearly horrified to hear a very elaborate conversation on Lady Gaga's infamous condom costume once. Shu loves to see people leave behind their labels and unite in the name of just being homo sapiens.

Shu, I know life is (mostly) good now. But life moves FAST. If you don't make hay while the sun shines, er...the poor donkeys won't have anything to eat??? (never wondered why that idiom existed, until now). What I mean to say is please don't procrastinate and put the things that really matter in life to the bottom of your priorities. You are now like a grasshopper dancing away to life's comforts and joys. You know very well how impermanent and uncertain life is. Everything could change in the blink of an eye. So be wise. Build yourself to be stronger on the inside. Be smart. Don't lose yourself in this materialistic tsunami of life. Be strong. Don't depend on other people for emotional anchors. Lastly, make good use of the time you have so that you won't have too many regrets later on.

This day is not due for another 8 months, but what the hell, I thought it is still funny!

Y-E-A-H Man

I've have crawled my way out of a deep crevice I fell into a few weeks back, only to attempt blogging again. This year so far has certainly not been my year for writing. But today, I got a ray of inspiration, reading one of my old posts after sharing it with one of the people it was dedicated to.

I went to see Usher live in concert last night. Man, it was a disappointment. And if I were Usher, I'd kill myself if I heard that coming from a "fan". He performed many songs for nearly 2 hours, drenched with sweat as he juggled singing and dancing. It sure didn't seem easy and I'll give him that. But except for a couple songs that the crowds went wild over, the rest were slow and cheesy, and hardly tunes that can be danced-to. The after-concert wasn't so great either. I ended up with a company of a mostly wasted people, a couple of them jabbered way too much and I had to put up with listening. I stayed sober, with the wonderful excuse of being the designated driver. I came home, feeling awfully tired, and fell asleep rightway. Come morning time, I felt like shit. Missed my class and went back to sleep with a terrible headache. Waking up, I realised I was still wearing my contact lenses from last night which now felt like shattered glass pieces in my eyes. Joy.

The rest of the day went pretty well actually. I did a lot of housework (cooking, laundry, ironing 2 weeks worth of office clothes), I went for a class later in the day, I had a mini-outing at the beach and I had a decent conversation with my mother, All in all, it felt good to be back from the depressing cesspool of pettiness, jealousy and self pity I had been wallowing in.

Time for bed Shu, to rest those aching joints from the nasty after effects of outdoor concerts!

Ghosts from the past..

NUMB3RS

I like numbers.

Last Saturday morning, after class, driving back home, annoyed with the usual radio stations I listen to, I switched to a random channel.

A song I've never heard before started playing. It made me grin (like a Royal idiot, of course, but I didn't mind) all the way home. A truly happy song. Love at first tune. I didn't care for the lyrics, the music and his high pitch voice, did the trick! So I memorised one line "my heart beats like a drum" and frantically searched for it on Youtube as soon as I got home! I have listened to it nearly 100 times since (talk about borderline OCD!).

Evening time. My girl friends made sudden plans to meet at a mall (yes, I know, sounds soooo girly). What to do, they are not the outdoor type!!!  While I really enjoy their company, I have to put up with ALOT of window shopping and wasting away time browsing through things I won't spend my cash on! But I did get the chance to see some beautiful outdoor scenes just outside the mall.

So yeah, back to my story...

After coffee, and MORE loitering in shops, it was time for the movie. I really really REALLY wanted to watch The King's Speech but they had all watched it. I was nearly tempted to ask them to go ahead watch whatever they liked and that I can go watch The King's Speech on the other side of the hall and we could meet up afterwards. I have no issues watching movies alone, but it would not have been polite in this case. So we all settled for No Strings Attached. Ashton Kutcher being the King of all things lame and cheesy, I KNEW the end to the movie before I saw it! Surprisingly enough, it was funny and more entertaining than I thought. The hot and steamy scenes were completely removed (thanks to local censorship boards) that it took awhile to piece together the plot in a couple of places in the movie since chunks of the storyline were missing! In the end, as predicted, the girl and the guy get back together for the umpteenth time. We were led to believe that this was the last time (going by the credits that started to roll on the side of the screen). I always like to sit until all the credits of a movie have passed, in hopes of catching a glimpse of special short scenes...

There were few of them. AND, a familiar song played at the end (IT WAS THAT SONG!!!).

My eyes popped out, jawed dropped, etc. No *Beep Beep* WAY!!! Needless to say, I was grinning for most of the evening too...

Hmmmm, what exactly are the odds of THAT happening??

"Rhythm of Love" by Plain White T's

Times are a changed

There was a time, when life was simpler.

Many years back, we had no central water supply and had to depend on wells to get water for basic washing and cooking. For other high consumption activities like laundry and bathing, we had to take a 5 minute walk down to the river. Those were easily some of the most enjoyable days of my time. We swam and splashed in the river for hours while all we heard, saw and felt was our own laughter, the calming sounds of the flowing water gushing by, the white bubbles that formed as the flow hit the stones, the cool breeze, flocks of birds flying overhead and the sun setting behind the mountains. All this was mixed with the fear of knowing that this very river was capable of drowning us as we might have helplessly strived to take those last few breaths, before being dragged down to the depths.

If there is one thing this river taught me, it's that life's fleeting moments that pass by me will never come back. The good moments will thus be missed. The bad moments will soon be forgotten. And a wise person should strive to live and make good use of the present moment.